Adventures at the DMV

After renewing my driver's license online on October 7th, I accepted that it had been stolen or lost or for whatever reason would not be arriving before my birthday (and the expiration date of my current license) on November 20th. Thus, I ventured to the Department of Motor Vehicles with low expectations (earliest appointment: December 16th, average wait without appointment: 1 hour, 48 minutes).

10:05 a.m. Things did not look promising as I pulled into the parking lot, which had at least 5 cars stalking any pedestrians, on the chance that they would be departing patrons. In some strange bit of good luck, I was able to get a parking space after a mere 2 circles. This occurred moments after watching 2 cars in front of me fight for a space - the victor of that battle was the douchebag who pulled (wrong way) into a spot on the opposite side of slanted-spot aisles while the loser was blocked by the car vacating the space. Yay, humanity.

The other ominous sight that greeted me was a group of at least 50 people standing in a line that stretched out the front door and wrapped around the building, out of sight. As I approached this line, others walking up to it would speed up their pace, each hoping to queue up 1 person closer to the front.

10:40 a.m. At the front of the line, two ladies were wrangling the crowd. One was preventing stray idiots (who chose not to see the line of 50 others waiting) from attempting to gatecrash the front door or somehow pretending that there was some kind of invisible line for special folks who don't like waiting. The other lady had a nicely rigged rolling file cabinet full of the forms people would need to conduct their business. After herding the crowd back into non-fire-hazard-single-file, she patiently asked each person what their business was, then handed them the appropriate form. Inside the front door, was a (male) security guard, whose job it was to stand around with his arms folded and stare blankly at the front door. I believe he was armed with a flashlight.

10:45 a.m. Entry is granted to me, so that I'm able to make use of the paper-filling-out table just inside the front door, to fill out my "Request for Duplicate License" form. Then, the Gatekeeper lady tells me to go stand in another line "between those ropes."

10:46 a.m. Since there are no people in the line I am in, the lady at sitting at the counter motions me up. She does this despite the previous customer still standing in her general vicinity at the counter, filling out a form. I make a small motion towards the other customer, but the counter-lady confidently motions me forward. I am additionally skeptical, since the sign above her says "Check-In and Information" and, having entered the office proper, I can see the 70 other people waiting in the chair-lined waiting areas, watching the monitors for their number to be called. I step up and tell her my situation in as few words as possible ("I renewed online over a month ago, but never got my license."). She asks for my form and my current license - this latter, she swipes through a machine. Then she types a bit. A paper prints out, which she hands to me. "All your information correct?" I look it over... "Yes." She replies, "Sign here."

10:47 a.m. I exit the DMV with my shiny new paper Temporary Driver's License. At the top it says "Not a valid form of identification." At least I can survive with my ATM card... until I have to buy something bigger.

In conclusion - well done, Torrance DMV, for executing the fastest DMV experience I have ever had, despite my not having an appointment. As for you, DMV.ca.gov - you fail. Also, should anyone out there need to renew their license or conduct other critical business with the DMV, make sure you have time for an in-person visit before your documents expire.